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Rant of Ferox

Trying to be difficult

December 29th, 2008 by User Imageadmin (Who am I?)

Sometimes when you’re experimenting with different writing styles you go too far.

Whilst aiming for ‘abstract, strange yet meaningful’ this is something I came up with. I’ll give you a cookie if you can actually figure out what it’s subject is.

 

Legend

Trees stand stock still in shock.
Breeze struggles to breathe a breath.
The sun, a little under the clouds,
Throbs urine yellow, which is not encouraging.

White the colour of insane-asylum walls,
Eyes of the ferocious doe in the calmest storm,
A moment of clarity, epiphany divine,
An undignified, badly timed thump.

Time limps on, the breeze begins to breathe.
Trees shift nervously to tip-toe away,
Gossiping about their wild party yesterday,
With birds and bees and squirrels storing nuts.

Insane-asylum white limps on,
At a pace of three, muttering language of beasts.
Complaining, to the sky and sea,
Who never reply, and don’t believe anyway.

Horn, tooth, or obscene ceramic,
Tainted badly with the stain of life,
Glorious, wispy, balding hair,
Death in life, and soiled innocence.

The cavalry of legends,
Dusty from disbelief,
As we regard this war-weary creature
From a distance. Such a distance.

Where we can not comprehend.

Rate this:
3.2

Posted in Samples, Writing |

3 Responses

  1. no imageFrancis Scudellari (Who am I?) Says:

    I’m going to have to ponder this a little longer before I can try to win that cookie, but I like it. The words paint very vivid imagery, even if the scene is one outside my experience. It has a dream like quality.

    Rate this:
    3.5
  2. no imageJena Isle (Who am I?) Says:

    A “deep”, interesting, worthy or perusal. I can interpret it several ways. A legend within a legend.

    Rate this:
    3.5
  3. no imageAllan McDougall (Who am I?) Says:

    I’d recommend subscribing to poetry daily. Your poems are quite amateurish, no offense. You’ll learn a lot by reading some real poetry and realize it’s not what you covered in high school.

    Rate this:
    2.2

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